i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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