Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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