No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
