just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
