At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
