Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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