You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
