I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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