Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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