i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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