the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
