do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
