what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
