this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
