So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
