Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you win again, gameday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
