oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
