OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My hand turned me down
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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