as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
