you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
