I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
