absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
