College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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