You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
