I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
