three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
