i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
