well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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