My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
