How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
