do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
