This girl is more easily done than said...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
