Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
