what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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