We won't sleep together?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
