if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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