have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
