I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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