I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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