Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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