): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're a waste of cheezeits
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
