When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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