I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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