I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
