I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
