Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
