He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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