remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
