I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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