I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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