The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
