New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
