im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
