I bet he comes in French.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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