I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
