I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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