those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
