white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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