I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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